Confessor, 2013: Beginning to Write for Our Third Record
It is difficult to believe that Confessor have been around for over twenty five years. There have been bumps and turns along the way that found us all doing other things, but after a quarter of a century we find ourselves with only one "new guy", and that is pretty astonishing. That new guy actually joined the band nineteen years ago. Pretty soon he'll graduate from the discipline building role of "coffee preparer" to that of "co-writer of heavy riffs". If my coffee is either too weak or too hot between now and when his graduation ceremony takes place, we may have to review his pending status in the band, but I feel pretty certain he'll make the cut. The most important thing for Chris to remember is that he continue to avoid making eye contact with fully accepted members of the band until he is completely sworn in. "Do you, Chris Nolan, swear to uphold the purity of the Riff and to promote heaviness and rhythmic confusion during good times and bad times, and to offer yourself to no other band, in this court of the Sabbath Black, which doth include the divinity of The Late One; Ronnie James, and do you bind yourself to the whimsy of The Four; those members who precede you and whose blood, sweat and tears have created the oddity known to the world as Confessor?" He will have a brief "Praising of His Peers" speech that he will have to recite without note cards, and a small monetary sacrifice equal to two years' worth of practice space rent, and then he will be free to submit riffs to please the band. If they do not please the band, he'll have to start the nineteen year process all over again, so the pressure is on, but I think he is motivated enough to nail it and to become the newest official member. We didn't have this protocol when Shawn joined, but we see how crucial the process is to maintaining appropriate levels of ass kissing. Chris will still have to bring us our coffee, but as long as it's delicious he can write riffs for our third record.
The Poundry is Pleased to Announce the Newest Member of Our Family, Ripp!
Monica and I have been keeping tabs on this German Shepherd for several months now. We first learned of his story via a German Shepherd Rescue group asking for donations to help pay for an emergency ear surgery he was in desperate need of after years of neglect. All that we know of his past is that there was a court order to remove him from the property of the people he lived with in South Carolina, and that he has been in foster care since May of last year. Untreated ear infections were allowed to harden in both of his ears and as a result, Ripp has lost all of his hearing. His hearing was long gone before the rescue took him in, but he was in pain because of the infections. The surgery removed both of his ear canals and closed off the openings, so he doesn't even have a way to receive sound. How's that for a chapter in The Chronicles of Suckiness! That which robs you of your hearing then drives you mad with chronic pain and discomfort... He's recovered really well, though there is a recurring topical infection that we are treating. He is incredibly sweet, playful and more than a little goofy. All three characteristics are wonderful to have in a dog, and we are delighted to be able to provide a stress free home for such a sweet boy!