Photo credit: Su Thongpan
I remember the first time I saw Gwar. It was in a tiny club here in Raleigh called The Fallout Shelter where I used to go see Confessor back when I thought they could really use a drummer like me. Lots of nights were blurs back then, but rubbing elbows with giant phalluses and blood covered men and women in their skivvies stood out as one of the highlights from that club. Some of my first shows with Confessor were as an opening act for Gwar. I don't remember how many, just that there were shows here and in Richmond. At the comedian Gallagher's shows back in the 80's people brought sheets of plastic to protect themselves from his "Sledge-o-Matic", a giant prop hammer with which he smashed watermelons while telling sixth grade level jokes. At Gwar shows, a sheet of plastic would have been nice to keep from getting fake blood and copious amounts of fake ejaculate all over you. I never saw them once they were a big deal, so I can only imagine what people had dripping off of them as they came out of their shows. Sunn were able to combine some of the creepy side of horror movies with music that sounded like a horror soundtrack to create a punishingly loud aural and visual experience. Gwar took schlock and schlong magic and combined it with a sort of puppet show horror, home movie sex-perience. Perhaps Loincloth have found their niche market, opening for various forms of horror experimentation bands. Not the worst thing on earth. Certainly interesting.
It's hard to believe that a year and a half has passed since our first show in Raleigh. There are plenty of moments that I can remember as though the show just happened last weekend. There were lots of friends, old and new, who had kept up with Loincloth's long, erratic history and were determined to catch our first show in town. Hell, who knew whether or not we'd ever play again? Plenty of people probably never really believed we were a band until we finally stepped onto the stage, and who could blame them? Well, the time has come for us to do it again and King's will again be the scene of the crime as Loincloth take the stage next Saturday night to deliver our own brand of heavy, contorted metal to those who think they are big enough to take the punishment. Many jaws were dropped by the end of our set last time and we intend to make no less of an impact this coming weekend. We have new songs to pulverize you with, so make sure you have some muscle relaxers at the house because you may need them the next morning, and come on down to King's. We will be joined by "Bandages" and "Enemy Waves" for this tag team ass stomping. Go ahead and put on your big boy pants and leave the wimps on the front porch. They'd just slow you down anyway! Oh, and say "Happy birthday" to my mom if you see her, and Monica too. Mom's birthday is Saturday, and Monica's is Friday. Once we have all recovered we'll find a nice place to have dinner and talk about how we're too old for all you whipper-snappers and your shennanigans. We should be easy enough to spot. We'll be the ones holding our necks and yelling for each other to repeat whatever we just said a little louder. Oh, how we suffer for our art!
