NyQuil was the drug of choice at the Shelton household New Year's Eve as I chose to be sick that entire weekend. Waterworks, not fireworks ruled the night. The kind that drip from your nose. You know, the sexy kind. While I did miraculously stay up to see midnight even after believing I might not see nine o' clock, I did not see twelve thirty. Now Monica is sick. I made it look so damned cool she wanted to get in on the action. Maybe we'll be done with all of that for the rest of 2017 and we can focus on world domination, horror movies and Mexican food. Our desires are simple, you see.
Speaking of world domination, Loincloth are another couple of steps closer to fulfilling their end of that objective. Most of the rough bass tracks have been recorded. Thomas and I will have some bass strategy meetings very soon to iron all of that out and then it will time to mix things down. I already went into the studio to make the drums "even more perfect" by finding the right takes of this segment or that segment to represent what happens behind the Mighty Shelton Drum Kit. Since these songs were written, learned and recorded by all of us separately ( for the most part ) there were quite naturally some things here and there that needed special attention. It is an interesting thing in music that I can be tight with any of Confessor or Loincloth's guitarists and bassists, but none of us play things exactly the same way. Everyone's natural rhythm and timing is slightly different. Any two of us can adapt in the room together, that's where the synergy is most evident. But if you played a recording of me with one guitarist against that of another they wouldn't line up. The synergy in the room does not necessarily transfer over to individual recording efforts. There is no "monosynergistic" phenomenon. That's why bands practice together. When so many of the songs can't be played or learned in a room together there is no chance to adapt to the other's style to create the synergy that you become accustomed to as a member of a band. Fortunately Greg has an "amazeballs" app in his studio and all we really have to do is hit three or four notes. He does all the rest.
As for Confessor's part in the plan to rule the world through polyrhythmic metal, we have had a minor setback in the month of December. As many of the U.S. readers will recall there was a tragic warehouse fire in Oakland that killed dozens of people recently. The warehouse was inhabited by local artists and squatters. Apparently the building had not been inspected by the fire department for several years and went up like a torch during a party in early December. The building that both Confessor and Loincloth practiced in was a much smaller version of the same scenario here in Raleigh, complete with artists studios and at various times, residents. To avoid a similar tragedy here, we were advised of a fire inspection that would have undoubtedly shuttered the place for good. That action, predictable and appreciated, forced everyone to collect their things with no more than 48 hours' notice. Honestly, the area around our building had been home to several new businesses in the last year or so and we had become the ugly duckling on the block. Everyone felt as though our days were suddenly numbered. We were in a hot spot in a building that would need to be transformed to make a profit. One way or another the Hammer was going to fall.
Our home has been a Mesa Boogie warehouse for just over a month now as we have waited for a new practice room to be completed a few miles away. That room is now ready and Confessor will resume its deviously crafty, heavy weirdness next week. It is not at all uncommon for Confessor to take the month of December off, anyway. By the time you get five adults' holiday excursions and festivities out of the way, occasional nasal fireworks and party donkeys, the month has completely passed and no metal has been forged. This year no one wanted the extended break, but it came anyway.
I for one, am happy that the building we practiced in will be closed up before anyone was hurt. Given the circumstances and the tragic event in Oakland I have no problem with the City of Raleigh covering its butt and avoiding a disaster. Some people shake their heads at moves like that but sometimes it's for the best. Everything's just fine until it ain't and then the flowers and candlelight vigils are on your block. Who was it again who said "Fire burn!"? Everyone knew our building was a tinder box but we all got used to it, just as we got used to the steps and construction that would never pass an inspection in any alternate universe. Our room was enormous, true enough. But the place always seemed a little sketchy, and a lot dusty. At least for the next couple of years we will feel like we are in an astonishingly clean environment in our new digs, even if we do feel a little like sardines in a can. A few years ago a tornado went right down the street our new practice space is on, so what are the chances of that happening again? Check fire and tornadoes off of the list of high probability calamities to be aware of there. Let's try replacing them with wild success and never ending adulation from adoring fans. Where do I sign?
As always, I am happy to offer this glimpse of what being in a band is like. In case any of you are wondering when the tales of looting, pillaging and rampant womanizing might come the next issue of Modern Hookers and Blow should be out any day now so both bands will be able to stay on top of the latest innovations in both of those areas of interest. I will do my best to keep up. It's always good to stretch first. With age comes wisdom. Which reminds me... inflatable donkeys really are much more predictable than real ones, and they are easier to travel with. That's the kind of sagely advice we offer here at The Poundry. We do all the dirty work for your benefit.