Let me try to answer some of your questions before you ask them:
- No, I am not sure if the figure on the "Dick of the Year" trophy will be updated to look like me.
- Yes I know, but I think I may have been headed to Hell anyway.
- Sometimes it does make me feel bad, but c'mon... she looks funny!
- Of course we are getting more well wishers than we would if I had broken my leg. Duh!
- I really don't think that the fact that she's black makes this a hate crime, but go for it if you feel so compelled.
- "Why don't I just mangle my own grandmother?" you ask... I already did! She has the scar to prove it! I don't screw around!
- Because we don't want to get another one that looks just like her, you heartless worm! It takes a lot more than $1,500 and counting to create such a sweet dog!
- No, believe me! Her breath smelled like a dead bird way before I broke her leg.
- She may be plotting her revenge, and yes... I am looking over my shoulder every few minutes now. She has a lot of fans.
- No, she did not hurt my boots.
- Yes, I think I do actually love her even more now. She's the sweetest dog that ever existed.
Okay, that should keep you guys up to date. Here is the pitiful face I have to look at in The Cone of Shame. That's what the vet called it, not me. I'm the one who feels shame. Crap! Maybe I'm supposed to wear it! Well either way, I really do thank everyone for checking in on our sweet little girl. We'll let you know when she gets the pin taken out of her leg. Thanks, everybody! Watch where you step!